Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
