But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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