I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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