I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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