i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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