I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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