What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
