I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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