I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
