glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
