Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize