Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
