I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
