What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
