when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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