i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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