I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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