So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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