We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
