tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
