One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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