Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
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Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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