the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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