Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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