please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
