I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.