I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
