some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
