and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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