I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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