Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
