Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
