Me too!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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