They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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