quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
