And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
