help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize