mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
