dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
