Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
