Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
