im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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