Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm too high and old for this...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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