btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
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You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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