By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
