I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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