Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
