Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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