We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
