I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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