This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
