So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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