yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
