Will you blow on my dice?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
