Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
