I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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