I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
