You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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