Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
