i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
