u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
