we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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