Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
