You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
MIDGETS
????
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
