...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't deserve a penis
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.