He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...