i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?