When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
