i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
